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Remake (and sequel) Hell!

Posted by gnn1 on Friday, 24 August 2007

2008 is certainly vying 2007 for the title of Year of the Sequels. Plus there are FIVE remakes due to come out.  [This isn’t a compete list, I know of at least one more sequel].

Here is one of my rare copy/pastes:

1. Conan The Barbarian : Yes that’s right, Conan The Barbarian will be remade for 2008. I guess the suits feel that consumers will once again find a burly swordsman entertaining as he makes his journey across continent of Hyboria. Several movie patrons are speculating that the “Conan” role will go to either Triple H or The Rock both which are from wrestling backgrounds. Nothing is solid on the casting yet.

2. The Day the Earth Stood Still : After one of the biggest disappointments in film history, hopefully they can make this film better then War Of The Worlds. This film is a remake of the 1951 sci-fi masterpiece involving an alien visitor and his robot coming to Earth. Scott Dickerson has been chosen to direct which is best known for Urban Legends Final Cut and The Exorcism of Emily Rose. The release date is set for May 9th, 2008 and the cast has yet to be determined.

3. The Evil Dead : I don’t know if I’m thrilled about this one but it might turn out alright. I would rather see a part 4 then a remake of the first film. Again an evil book has the powers to conjure demons and in a small cabin in the middle of no where people decide to play with the book. The original script was written by Sam Raimi but no other cast or crew information is available at this time.

4. Hellraiser : Although this film is not being taken with open arms by horror fans I for one think its a good idea. Fans are upset that Doug Bradley which played the original pinhead is not in talks for this but I can’t see a remake being made with the same actor playing the lead role. I liked the Hellraiser series and think that with the special effects of today’s time that this will turn out to be even better then the original. As long as they don’t cast Lil Bow Wow or Tyrese as Pinhead.

5. Red Sonja : You know I laughed when I saw this, I actually thought that my eyes was deceiving me. Do not get me wrong I actually liked the original one with Bridgette Nielson and Arnold but I just could think of a ton of movies that should be remade over this.
6. Cabin Fever 2 – Spring Fever : This movie is actually be filmed in north Carolina really close to me, the casting calls have been in the paper a lot lately. The flesh eating bacteria virus is back and this time its spreading by a popular brand of what else…….”Spring” water. It starts doing its killing at a high school prom. Ti West is directing and back again from the original Cabin Fever is Rider Strong. A release date has not been set yet.

7. The Chronicles of Narnia – Prince Caspian : Lucy Pevensie and her siblings Edmund, Peter and Susan are back again. They go back to Narnia and learn that hundreds of years have passed since they once helped get rid of the evil white witch. This time an evil king has taken the throne and they seek Aslan’s help to boot him off. The release date is set for May 16th, 2008.

8. Fahrenheit 9/11½ : Michael Moore is back again to poke fun at our President. He again will be exploring MORE events after the September 11th terrorist attacks. This is written, directed and starring Michael Moore and really I’m not looking forward to this…I think he clearly made his point with the first film. I also am not a fan of making a sequel to a documentary. A release date has not been set yet.

9. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince : You know I’m getting a little tired of Harry Potter. For one that little fucker has more money then I will probably ever see in my life and two I just don’t like the series. Harry Potter begins his 6th year at the school and this time finds a book which gives him new information on Lord Voldemort’s evil past.

10.Hellboy 2: The Golden Army : Ron Pearlman (which is a very underrated actor) is back again as Hellboy….this time to stop creatures from trying to rule the Earth. Guillermo del Toro is back to direct this sequel coming straight from his smashing Fantasy / Drama Pans Labyrinth.

11.Jurassic Park IV : We last took an adventure with dinosaurs around 2001 when Jurassic Park 3 came out. Back again to direct is Joe Johnston which last directed the disappointing Hildago. No cast information is available yet, however Stan Winston has said the film keeps getting delayed because of heavy changes being made to the script to satisfy Steven Spielberg.

12.Scary Movie 5 : Although it was rumored that the Wayans brothers would be returning for this one, it looks as if its not happening. Anna Faris and Brenda Meeks are rumored to be back as well as Leslie Nielsen. Hopefully this film will go back towards the earlier the first two were hilarious.

13. The Punisher 2 : This was a HUGE surprise to me. The first remake of the Punisher was horrible. I mean come on when Dolph Lundgren has a version of a film better then yours you know you suck. Punisher 2 will follow former FBI agent Frank Castle on another vigilante mission to stop evil in New York.



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